The Joy of Battle

 Lord of The Rings is one of my favorite books, and J.R.R. Tolkien is my favorite author. The man has true talent when it comes to creating an epic, both in storytelling and in his prose. What some people might not know about Tolkien is that he was a World War One veteran who fought at the Battle of the Somme, one of the deadliest battles in world history with over one million casualties. I find it a bit odd that a man who witnessed humanity's worst created one of the most compelling fantasy worlds ever imagined. Surely, witnessing and participating in one of the darkest hours of humanity diminishes one's ability to imagine another world. It certainly affects what you create and imagine.

There is one passage in The Return of the King that always makes me feel a little bit weird when reading it. Knowing Tolkien's war history, I never understood what he meant by saying, 'And then all the host of Rohan burst into song, and they sang as they slew, for the joy of battle was on them.' Surely, a man like Tolkien wouldn't think of a battle as something that brings joy?

When I was driving home from work today, this particular sentence popped into my mind. I haven't read the books for quite some time, but I felt the Holy Spirit upon me. He wanted to reveal something to me. Though I never had to fight in a war or have been in a serious physical conflict, I have had my fair share of spiritual battles. Most of the spiritual battles are battles over a promise God gave me. If there's one thing I have learned in the past years, it's that God's promised land for me is never empty. It's always full of giants to slay and cities to besiege. Usually, when I first cross the river Jordan into my new promised land, I'm full of faith and totally unaware that there is a battle to be fought. The sight of enemies could dishearten me enough to send me right back over the river and complain to God about how He is unfaithful. Later on, I learned that with the promise of the land comes the promise of conquest. So I would cross the river Jordan again, enter my promised land, draw my sword, yell that the land is mine, get hit by an enemy, and run away to complain to God that the blow the enemy landed caused an unacceptable amount of pain. So I would go back and forth until God brought me a battle that was so important to me, and the promise so real, that instead of running, I cried out to God, 'I will literally die on this hill if Your promise isn't true. And if I misunderstood, we can discuss my error in heaven. But if You don't come through, my life will fall apart. I will stand on this promise until nothing else is left.' So I took many hits, but after a long and exhausting fight, the enemy fled from me.

This taught me the value of faith, perseverance, and conviction, but I would not call it a joy to fight this battle. As the years passed, and more fights (and victories) came, I grew more comfortable in combat. Fear faded away. I grew stronger, and while I was growing stronger, God gave me a new revelation. I used to say that I hated the fight (or the process) before I received my promise, but eventually, I stopped hating the fight because I already knew I would win. He even gave me moments when He made me look at the enemy challenging me, and I would laugh, knowing that this enemy could never rob me of my promised land. He also made me realize that with every battle I fought, I became stronger and bigger. I didn't just walk on the new land; I took it and made it my own. One day, the Lord said to me, 'Do you realize that by entering the battle, you have already received your prize? It's not like you are going to lose this with Me by your side, and you will grow stronger and bigger again, just like last time. Can you dream about what victory would look like even when the enemy appears strongest?' And then, just like Tolkien wrote it, I burst into song and sang as I slew, for the joy of battle was upon me. I knew exactly what I was fighting for. I had seen enough victories to not be disheartened by resistance. And though this enemy looked like an unkillable giant, the enemies of the past felt the same way, yet they are all dead now. So now, when I fight, I dream about the land that is promised by God and what I will do in it, and in the dreaming, I feel the pleasure of God. God said to me: 'This is the peace and the joy you can have when you're fighting a battle. When a dream is rooted in My desire, we are dreaming the same thing. That makes it a prophecy. Or do you truly believe that if you and I share a dream, anyone can come against us? How many giants do I need to put on your path for you to grasp this?'

I still feel scared, angry, afraid, or hurt from time to time, or I don't see how I can win, but I'm always drawn back to this truth: If God promised me a new land, He has already given me the victory over all the enemies. So I will not focus on the battles and the giants; I will focus on the land and dream the dream I share with God. And when I do, I will laugh because He who sits on the throne is laughing.